In My Size 12 Shoes

weekend twitter

2009-03-14T00:23:00.000-07:00

so my weekend is going to involve, 7:00 am casting calls, hawk wranglers,red bull, a strip club, Underwater science labs, and 48 hours without sleep. To find out why and how, follow me on twitter

http://twitter.com/danielwoodrow

Busy Weekend Coming up.

2009-03-13T23:47:00.000-07:00

10 Days

2009-03-11T21:17:00.000-07:00

It's almost time for my Bi-monthly comedy show, Perfect 10. The line up on this show actually makes me proud that I put it together. I don't know who actually reads this or whatever but if you do consider checking out the show. Here's the link to the facebook invite.

Perfect 10
The Comedy Bar
945 bloor st. (ossington station)
$10
10:00pm

you can buy tickets online here
http://www.ticketweb.ca/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?dispatch=loadSelectionData&eventId=1095574
hope to see you guys there.

xoxo lovers.

A Weekend in the City

2009-03-10T21:44:00.000-07:00

First off I want to say that No Frills blows my mind, I bought over a weeks worth of food for $20, and I constantly eat, don't let my size fool you. Sorry fat people. Also It looks like my weekend is going to be extremely busy, so maybe I'll actually have some stuff to write about soon. Friday I am going to see Bloc Party @ Koolhaus finally I've been wanting to see this band for years. Saturday I have a meeting with an agent. Then on Sunday starting at the crack of dawn, I have to head out to Hamilton, to shoot a commercial with mtv, then we are heading over to Brampton to shoot a second one, and I hear this one involves me, in a field with a hawk. I can not wait. Then from Brampton I have to jet off to London (the lame one), to do some stand up for Jay Vegas' X-Rated comedy show, that will for sure be fun, then back to Toronto to shoot the third mtv ringtones commercial on Monday. There will be no sleeping involved this weekend.
Wow that was long.

thanks for reading lovers.

Broke....

2009-03-09T23:34:00.000-07:00

The only thing difference between me and a homeless guy, is that I have better jokes, and less money. I bet you the guy that stands at the eaton center fake holding open the door (that is jammed and stays open anyways) made more money today then I have made all month doing stand up, and he's probably eating better food than me. I think Mr. Chef Boyardee, has flown under the radar for to long. Someone should tell him to go back to school cause he sucks balls at cooking.

On a good note I had an audition at mtv today, things might start looking up.

more news to come lovers.

Londonnnn Bridge Is still there

2009-03-06T13:52:00.000-08:00

I will be gracing the stages of London (the crappy one) for the first time, next weekend, i am pretty excited. i wonder if they like black people there, and if not hopefully they like my racist jokes.

FLAVOR OF HATE

2009-03-05T23:49:00.001-08:00

Flavor Flav

By the way i don't actually think that video is funny, it just waisted my time and i didn't want to be alone on this one.
Also I think Flavor Flav should fall on a knife.

Brap Brap.

Last Night 2:35am

2009-02-28T10:29:00.000-08:00

I'm currently blogging from torontos lustrious 501 street car. I've decided since something insane always happens here it's probably a good idea. Um let's see... well as I am typing this a man has been consistently staring at me for about 15 stops. He's so dedicated to staring at me that i'm starting to doubt myself, and question if it's me he's really staring at, but then everytime I make eye contact he gets pissed and sits up like he wants to fight. Which is strange because he's the one staring, anyways i'm done talking about that. What else? (3 min later) ... k this is good, a guy just sat next to a girl on the streetcar placed his arm around her and said, "I live in a condo by the lake wanna come over". She said no (not to sure why) to which his response was, " I used to live in a big house but i sold it and now I live in a condo wanna come home with me". Somebody has been listening to a little bit to much of T- pain.

If you don't get the reference watch this music video

Click Here

I forgot to mention that....

2009-02-27T11:37:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention that my two loves in life are.... Wiggers and Ginos. Oh man there's just nothing I love more than a "brap brap" coming from the mouth of a Caucasian from the suburbs , or the shiny gel crusted forehead of a Gino, either way I’m down. If you have either of these qualities I’m hosting a party at the edge of a cliff, party starts at 9:00pm. I will be arriving at 9:15pm dock martins and a gun, just to help get the party started.

Thank you lord for this video.

Thank you for your time lovers

Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice

2009-02-26T21:21:00.000-08:00

Good friends of mine have been working very hard the past few years, and it is finnaly starting to pay off. They have just dropped their first music video, and are receiving radio play all over the country. Keep your ears and eyes peeled for Candy Coated Killahz, they will be huge, you can see thier video on much music starting now, but for the mean time you can watch it here.

Click To Watch "Playboy by Candy Coated Killahz"

See if you can spot me, for a prize.

enjoy lovers

Osha-what

2009-02-26T07:49:00.000-08:00

I'm telling jokes in Oshawa tonight, they will definitly like my racist jokes there. hip hip horray for hick bars.
:)

Click on this link to check out a real blog, there's some interesting stuff.

Ta Ta for now lovers

What i'm up to Monday night!!

2009-02-22T23:35:00.000-08:00

Click to see what i'm doing tomorrow night
Beaver Hall Gallery
Doors @ 7:00pm

$7

Comedy Show Monday

Time To Promote

2009-02-22T13:42:00.001-08:00

Alright here we go...

NBA COMICS is coming in exactly one week.

The Second City Theatre has been host to some of the biggest names in comedy in the past, and now will open it's doors to a new brand of comedy, NBA Comics. This show can be witnessed March 1 st 2009.

Tickets are $15 in advance and $20 at the door.
Show time is 9:30pm
51 Mercer Street
www.nbacomics.com for more details.

i'm sorry blog

2009-02-21T11:35:00.000-08:00

So i've recently had a converstation with my blog and apparently it feels that i have been neglecting it, and not posting everyday. And also that i've been leaving my post riddled with spelling errors. Wellllll SCREW you blog, ok i have a very demanding life, you think i'm just run home every night to write a stupid post for 4 people to read.... Answer is yes i will...try to. To make it up to all of you i will post a very strange photo that was shot by my roomate, Denver Eastman.

it's called "What to wear"

Busy Busy Busy... Free.

2009-02-11T22:20:00.000-08:00

soooo you know what's fun, getting ratted out at work for getting a cup of coffee when you're are not on break, so so so fun, and even more fun then that is getting fired, because of a bitter old woman who has realized her whole life has amounted to nothing more than making $12/hour. so i'm pretty available now, if anyone wants to book a lunch date, i'm down, your treat though :)
so comedy has been going wonderful though tons of shows coming up, and i've done 9 sets already since the beginning of the month. fun fun fun

don't get fired lovers

Yorkville Mustache?

2009-02-06T07:06:00.000-08:00

Yep. so i decided to try to grow a mustache, i've tried once before, and gave up, because i wanted to make friends. But i think i've secured enough friends now that it's time to try again. For those of you that don't know the dynamics of my face, it's hard for me to grow facial hair, very hard.

Also tonight i have a gig in Yorkville tonight @ some upscale martini lounge (definitly my crowd?) they will probably fire me right away when they see the prepubescent rat tail growing on my upper lip. We'll see what happens, maybe i'll make enough money to buy one drink tonight.

Have a good day lovers.

i'm tired!

2009-02-05T22:53:00.001-08:00

Merci

2009-02-01T23:10:00.000-08:00

Thank you to everyone who come out to Perfect 10, it's was a real fun show, about 60 people came out, and from what i heard, everyone had a really good time, including me. thank you to all the amazing comics that were performing you made the night perfect.

Here's my next big project.

NBA Comics @The Second City Theatre
March 1st.
www.nbacomics.com
The tickets are on sale now. talk to me to get your hands on some.

Check the link for an interview with me, and all the show information.
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=mWHVx7pUqLs&feature=channel_page

Check it out lovers

Perfect 10 Todayyy

2009-01-31T11:01:00.000-08:00

Tonight is the night, where the top up and comers, and, just top comedians in the toronto scene, hit the stage. Ten bucks is such a great deal to see these 10 comics. It's almost a gaurentee that this time next year from, you won't be able to see any of these comics again for this cheap. This is history in the making folks, don't miss out.

Perfect 10
@ The Comedy Bar
945 bloor street (ossington station)
doors @ 9:30pm
only $10.

See you there lovers.

Thisss guy!

2009-01-30T00:17:00.000-08:00

So i think i may have encountered my first dose or racism today. I was on bloor street just saying hi to my friends when a drunk native man (i'm sorry it's important to the story) slured the phrase, "remember who's land you are on" then shouted "white power" (insert nazi salute), and walked away. All in all it made my day.

No advancements in the comedy world, oh actually i got a sweet gig today, (to be announced soon) and i got recognized on the street twice. booyah, anywaysss

sleep tight lovers.

Perfect 10 tomorrow.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/event.php?eid=45706202444&ref=ts

nothing

2009-01-28T19:07:00.000-08:00

yep i've been doing nothing the past two days, just working some shifts at my day job and sitting at home watching theeee worst television. Survivor man and Mantrackers.

i'm pretty excited for perfect 10, and have alot of other shows coming up to that i am getting pumped for, this is lame sorry.

i will get back to watching the jon dore show now.

Wednesdays @ 10:oopm on The comedy network

you're welcome Jon.

oops i did it?...

2009-01-26T23:22:00.000-08:00

so kind of as a half joke today while i was eating poutine and watching mtv live (sorry) after work, i entered a contest that is a spin of the homo-erotic show bromance, called paulmance, i got an email tonight asking me to appear on mtv live via webcam tomorrow @ 6:00, to explain why i would be right for the show, so that should be fun hope i don't say anything stupid that would cause me to further appear on mtv live, please don't watch.

comedy wize, i went a did a open mic tonight, just to lower my high from the all black show.
open mics hurt.

thank you thank you thank you

2009-01-25T21:34:00.000-08:00

I want to thank the gods of all black comedy for granting me favor tonight, thank you for the strength to go up on stage and make 400 black people laugh, i will call on you again sometime.

The stress is finally done, all week i was nervous about this show, and i think that's what caused me to work so hard to prepare.

kenny robinson's nubian show was a great success tonight as i'm sure it always is, with a packed yuk yuks, it was such an awesome show. i think one of my favorites sets that i've done since i started comedy. It definitly motivated me.

Next mission is sell out the comedy bar for Perfect 10, 5 days till that show, can't wait

farewell lovers.

let's get naked.

2009-01-24T15:15:00.001-08:00

I know that if i get lazy and not write a little thing every day, there will never be another post, so as of this moment i have no clue what to write about. hmm. last night i went to go watch my friends, Gilson lubin, and jon dore, do a set at yuk yuks, that was really fun, it's so painful to sit in the back of a room and watch 300 people laugh and not being able to go on stage. That's like going to a pool party and having an open wound, and your stupid grade 6 teacher won't let you join the rest of the grade 6 class in the pool, so you just have to sit there all day in the blazzing sun and pass out and get a heat stroke. You know what i'm saying??

Yeah.... so the all black show is coming up pretty soon, i should probably spend sometime today figuring out what jokes to do at that. anyways i'm gunna make some food, and wonder why i started blogging.

peace out lovers

also come to my comedy show.
Perfect 10 Jan 31st. Comedy Bar, 10:00 $10 945 bloor (ossignton station)
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=45706202444&ref=ts

today...today...today

2009-01-23T00:38:00.000-08:00

ok i guess i spent most of the afternoon hustling, i sent a few harrasment messages via facebook about perfect 10, and watched more day time television crime shows. Then i checked out an open mic, and after that went out to party for a bit, met some new people, and of course hustled to get them out to my show. i hate this, i feel like i'm luring people into the white van of comedy (if you will).

i wonder if people read this?

Eff my life

2009-01-21T22:51:00.000-08:00

Well it's 1:51 and i'm watching a re-run of "the real world". why am i subjecting myself to this you ask. it's because...umm... well good question. it is because of my day job, i conduct surveys over the phone, i'm not proud of it (much like my use of incorrect punctuation). Somewhere along the line someone screwed up and i have no work this week. So i have been watching shows such as, american justice, unsolved mysteries, and mtv live all day. What scares me is that if i ever get lucky enough to be a full time comedian and not work a day job, terrible day time television with be my life. I need a hobby. help.

Comedy wize:
i didn't do much today, watched an open mic, pick up tickets for an upcoming show, and i harrased people about my perfect 10 show.

If you are reading this and going why does he write like this no one is going to read this, all i have to say is you are reading it. goodnight lovers.

Still Broke

2009-01-20T22:00:00.000-08:00

Well i am broke, but good news is on the way and it's.... Black history month, what a great month to be a stand up comedian. I just scored another gig that's going to be on feb 6th, (w.e more details later.) That month is filling up nicely. And got invited to some industry party this weekend. Booyah, oh anddddd also stand up went alright tonight i was up first, and i like to say i did well. Frig for some reason putting your diary online (blog) makes it less gay.

maybe one day someone will find my life intresting, it's like entourage, but without the entourage, or the money. but it is a behind the scenes look of how i almost have to do indecent acts in alley ways to pay rent.

the end

My Life As A Starving Comedian

2009-01-20T13:18:00.000-08:00

I guess i need to keep up with writting, so i decided to start this. I think i'm pretty much just going to talk about my everyday life. (probably what's expected of a blog) i'll be blogging about my daily hustle of making it somewhere in comedy, and maybe one day if i get really famous, and only have to work a part time day job, someone will turn this into a book.

On the docket for tonight.
Yuk Yuk's Amature night, in order to prepare for the all black show i am doing at yuk yuks this weekend.

Also I have lost my joke book so it's making it quite difficult to remeber some of my older jokes. Dammit.